Healing the inner child is a very important practice to develop in our spiritual path. It is our childlike aspect, literally a being in us, an aspect of our consciousness, that is waiting for our presence since always. It is that part of us that was abused and hurted in our young age. Growing up we think that this wounds are gone; well the opposite is true: they are still there. Children are very sensitive and fragile beings, they need their parents to survive in the world, they always need someone that takes care and nurtures them. This fragility follows us for the rest of our life, because we don't teach our inner child to come into the present with us. We have to talk to our child in a loving and gentle way, with words that can be easily understood. We can say "come, dear, come in the present with me. You are no more fragile and defenseless, you are an adult now and you don't need anyone to survive, you can take care of yourself." It is very important to let go of that feeling of dependency from others. As much as to let go of all the teachings that put us in a cage. We have been raised thinking that the world is a bad place, that it's dangerous "out there", there are bad people everywhere and you should be always suspicious. Maybe a lot of the anxiety we have toward the world and others comes from this? Maybe we don't trust anyone, not even ourselves, because this programs are still running in our mind? If we don't clear them we will never be able to open up completely to who we love, not only that; the mindset of the victim, of who is always controlled or in danger, "because of the bad people out there" will condition our life. We have been taught to always search for approval from others, and that is another old teaching that we need to clear. As children, in fact, we had to do what they wanted from us. That is why we always tend to please others, to say what others want to hear, instead of what we really think. In order to obtain the object of our desire, we simply had to smile at our parents, other times we cried; it is something that we naturally learn in order to attract the attention. Basically we needed the energy of other people to sustain us, but now something changed. Now we know that we are sovereign beings, feeding on energies that are not our own, is not the right thing to do. We want to sustain ourselves with our own power and strength. "Dear inner child, you see, you don't need anyone, what you searched for your whole life was yourself! You now are strong enough now!" This doesn't absolutely mean that we want to push away others from us, who we love, it means that we don't have to rely on them, only because we can't stand our ground or stand up for the truth, for ourselves. That "need" is what blocks us from loving unconditionally. Another important thing is to let know your inner child that he/she is not alone. We all had a moment in our childhood when we didn't receive the attention, the care, we really needed. That wound, along with our "diplomatic smile" and "cry for attention", is what is keeping us from freedom because we always tend to search attention from others, since we had a lack of it in our past. It doesn't matter if your infancy was a super beautiful period; we all have this inside us, in a way or another. "You are not alone, there is me at your side; let me give you unlimited love." Asking forgiveness is also very important; we have been negligent toward our inner child, he/she has been waiting for us for a very long time. A child is very impressionable, a word is sufficient to cause an emotional reaction and a wound that can remain there for years. Some of us were told "shut up!" or "now I don't have time for this" when we were trying to express ourselves, our needs. It is truly like a slap in the face even if it's just words. That is why, many people, even in adulthood, have difficulties in expressing what they feel, they are afraid to be rejected. Parents can be very controlling due to fear, and that sense of oppression, of control, continues to be with us today. Forgiving them, no matter what, is also very important. Why? Because they are us! Their blood flows in our veins, as much us the blood of our ancestors flows in our veins too. We are their continuation, they are us and we are them! Since they are part of us, if we don't forgive them, then we are angry with a part of us. We can't run away from this because it is an internal factor, not an external being, that is causing turmoil inside. Moreover there is no external thing, it's just an illusion. It is important to note that we also have an inner adolescent, a young adult, that have been hurted as well. Be with them. A simple exercise is to talk to this wounded aspects of yourself. Sit quietly and begin to express what you feel as if you are you at the age of 5 or 7. Let your fragile side come to the surface without judgment, let your fear arise from the depth of yourself. Let that child say what he/she wants to say. Then, as if you are you today, tell him/her that there is no more need to feel such fears because they are only past memories that are stored within you. Use reassuring words and let your inner child know that he/she is not alone, asking them to remove from you, for you, all those memories that are causing so much pain. This is because the inner child is also your memory bank, like a storehouse. Try to convince this aspect of you, that there is nothing personal, that all that was part of your life package and it is not need anymore now.
Take a step today, and acknowledge the presence of the inner child in you. Speak kindly, and set her/him free. In this way you can be the being that you are today, not who you were years ago. Live in the present moment. Here. Now.
This work by Michele Cornacchia is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at http://www.iammysoul.com/.
Share with credits to the author only.